How Black Is Black? ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽

Amongst the black culture there is a both spoken and unspoken prejudice. How can the most scrutinized and discriminated race also scrutinize and discriminate against one another so well? Light skin Vs. darker skinned individuals seem to believe the lighter your complexion, the more successful you will be. Dating back to slavery times it was suggested that lighter skinned slaves were often kept in the house and used as concubines and maids, while darker family members tended to the fields. The Willie Lynch Letter makes it clear that with this Tinker-bell Effect implemented skin color can be believed to hold value even though they are ALL STILL NIGGERS.

Fast forward some 400 years and here we are still divided as a people, just as the Willie Lynch Letter suggested. A system labeled the “paper bag complex” meaning if your skin was lighter than a brown paper bag you were considered “light skinned”. It was often assumed that if you were of a lighter complexion somewhere in your family you had a Caucasian ancestor. This also still seems to hold value till this day.

I heard someone compliment Kelly Rowland, Sabrina Williams, Venus Williams, Mary J. Blige and Lupita Nyong’o as “pretty for dark skinned women”. This to me suggest that dark skin women aren’t usually beautiful. As 2020 drones on through a pandemic, quarantine, election, economic crisis, government shutdown it is MORE THAN BRILLIAINT that BLACK WOMEN of all shades have been showing the hell out!!!! I am in awe at some of the gorgeous and handsome individuals coming out of the woodwork with nothing but sheer elegance and beauty! I love that BLACK is actually IN for ONCE! Instead of us hiding and segregating each other based on whoever can define how BLACK, BLACK actually is!

Nobody cares…but I do…kinda 🌈

The only thing that does not change is change itself. With this being said society has built and tore down a plethora of rules, restrictions, policies, regulations and even PERSONAL RIGHTS since the beginning of time. I reflect on when I served in the military all those years ago, and remember when you could not join the ranks of service men and women if you identified as a homosexual. Can you believe that? Your right as an American citizen was restricted and you were unable to fight or DIE for your country if you participated in same sex relations even IN PRIVATE.

As years went on, hundreds of members were discharged dishonorably if found to be homosexual, crippling them in the civilian world due to their character of service (Dishonorable). This intense punishment was later expelled for the “DONT ask, DONT tell policy”. This meant if you were gay, just “shut up” about it and don’t get caught publicly displaying affection etc. How would you feel if your job condemned your relationship and you were told not to hold hands, kiss or otherwise act like you are actually in a relationship with your significant other?

It was this way for the entire life of the military existence, up until recently, as in the last 10 years that the military allowed PEOPLE to join the forces without question of their PERSONAL SEX LIFE! There was a time that BLACKS were not permitted to join the military forces as well. It was not until Abraham Lincoln in the year 1863 that African Americans were allowed to enlist! Then women could not join the military.

I say all this to say isn’t it a bit off that the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA the hallmark of DEMOCRACY would have so much prejudice within one of the MAIN SYSTEMS OF JUSTICE??? Even still there were laws about what an “Ethnic hairdo” consist of and what is “out of regulations” in regards to literally WHO A PERSON IS AND HOW THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES! Don’t get me wrong as an AMERICAN I love my country!!! But sometimes we don’t feel like the home of DEMOCRACY more like the home of HYPOCRISY.

The Best Man ♥️

When I reflect back on past loves and relationships I can’t help but feel a bit relieved. Not because any of my exes were horrible people (as most would say, mostly out of pure denial that they could have actually been great people just not for them). No, many of my exes are still AMAZING people that do great things and fortunately we have no hard feelings. It takes a certain level of understanding and emotional maturity to maintain any level of friendship with someone you once had strong emotions for however, if it can be accomplished it is actually a splendid way to find the one that ACTUALLY is meant for you!!!

YES!! I am CRAZY actually but without official diagnosis you got nothing…Anyways think of this, who else knows you better than your mother and individuals you have opened up to intimately? Let’s face it somethings mama don’t even know *wink. An ex can be an EXcellent look in the mirror sometimes! They can tell you what made them fall in love and what made them block you all those times.

As I stated earlier this recycled relationship takes a GREAT DEAL OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY” if not you two will just end up pointing fingers at each other again and revisiting all the horrible reasons the other exist or better yet ending up in bed all over again! Be honest with yourself before attempting to befriend an ex ensure you no longer want anything more than friendship (if you are already in a relationship be sure this is ok with your partner, it’s not everyday your significant other is pleased you bumped into your ex and asked them how you can be a better person). If you are single and this was your most recent ex maybe let a little time lapse before trying to ask them for truce and insight.

I have exes I am able to reflect with and I have some I shouldn’t speak to for a variety of reasons. For business concerns I can communicate with one that understands my impulsiveness and knows how anxious I can be in regards to spending. Drove him nuts and ultimately drove us apart but now he assist me with stocks, bonds, loans and a wealth of knowledge for other financial services. There is no romance only simple concern and genuine fondness for a great financial guru. ..but there is more than JUST the info, he KNOWS me inside and out figuratively and literally, so he is more personable with my intentions and in a way personalized just for me.

Another ex is GREAT at telling me about MYSELF!!! I am currently in a relationship and extremely happy however even in paradise you pay taxes. I can count on him not to hold back on honesty and I can count on him to tell me if I was truly wrong about a situation or not. Not to say that I ALWAYS speak to my exes about my relationship troubles but I do believe a certain mental and emotional wellness comes from being able to check yourself sometimes to see if you are “trippin” or not. Never the less this person tells me when I am perhaps going overboard and when I am DEFINITLY in the right to be upset.

This partner and I grew apart due to family preferences and life goals. They were simply on a journey I did not want to enjoy with them and vice versa, we were honest about this and found much better hiking partners. This is what I mean by saying an ex can be an EXceptional asset to your team if you play it right! Even if HE wasn’t THE MAN he can help you find the BEST MAN by first figuring out WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU TRULY WANT. Just a thought…

Sometimes… 🔮

Without a shadow of a doubt life can be hard, things happen unexpectedly and we are forced to take an impromptu approach to situations we could not have possibly planned for, even with all the time in the world. Like the loss or furlough of a job, the loss of a friend, family member or loved one. Even a new offspring can bring more joy and happiness than you could ever imagine but still come with a carry on bag of stress. Now you must be more detailed with finances to ensure you have not JUST enough but MORE than enough as well as perhaps begin looking for more space; whether you decide to rent a bigger apartment or take another huge step and buy a home. I heard a saying once that “life is what happens while you are busy making other plans” and this could not be more accurate.

While life may be full of downs there are also moments when life is UP!!! SOMETIMES…..you get it ALL RIGHT! When you finally receive confirmation that perhaps something you thought was for the bad was actually for good. You feel an overwhelming shudder across your bones and feel the warmth in your spirit that your life may have a plan after all!

That SOMETIMES could begin to be ALL THE TIME if you learn to channel your INNER TRUTH. Let’s face it we ALL LIE even for people who’s pet peeve is “liars” they as humans are still not except of the overwhelming responsibility to SEEM “o.k.”. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally etc. When you ask someone how they are doing how often do you get “well since you ask my life couldn’t be worst, my wife is sleeping around, my kids are sneaking out and probably getting high, I can’t remember the last time I was sober but anywho enough about me what about you?”.

The ability to be true to oneself is the greatest gift of all. It promises freedom from social norms and the power to be “o.k.” FOR REAL. It all starts by accepting what was, what is no more and embracing what will be. By far the most important trick to learn on the journey of TRUTH in SELF is realizing that you (Insert name) have absolutely, positively, ZERO control over what happens next however, you can give yourself options. Sometimes, looking inward allows you to align things for yourself simply by laying the FACTS out in front of you as candidly as possible. After you’ve done this allow your spirit to answer you and actually LISTEN.

When you do this your “sometimes good days” become “often good days” until you ALWAYS have a good day! Because you not only willed it but also demanded it from YOURSELF! Asé✨

The “NEW” Religion 🇺🇸

So with the start of the COVID-19, numerous businesses were shut down sending individuals running to the unemployment line. Unless categorized as an “essential worker” you were left blindly to fend with whatever the total of your last paycheck and hopefully a savings. Desperately waiting for a decision to be made on a promised stipend check, which only amounted to 1,200 odd dollars leaving much to be desired for the remaining 5 months. I am deeply convinced that even if it were declared the end of the world people would still flock to WAL-MART for cases of water and toilet paper as if they’d still have a bottom to moisturize and keep clean.

Furthermore, churches were declared “non-essential” and even more so PROHIBITED due to the capacity of people in one location; religious halls were deemed UNSAFE. Coincidentally alcohol stores continued to thrive as well as Wal-Mart and banks (with the exception of having to make an appointment to come inside, wearing a nose and mouth covering of course). Numbers continued to increase as well as deaths due to COVID. Orders were then given that unless you have an emergency reason to travel you are required to stay IN YOUR HOME. Travel from state to state was highly discouraged rendering a required 14 day quarantine when you arrived at your destination as well as returned home.

Does anyone remember how this whole thing started? Of course from a China man who ate a diseased bat, got sick and spread the virus to the entire world!……right……..I didn’t buy it either but nice pitch for a comic book! In other words the United States population has decreased drastically due to a virus that has been around since the early 60’s out of nowhere just before elections and the economy goes through the roof. Splendid idea!

Only one thing…the audience that was mostly targeted by this “incurable disease” were elderly, mentally ill, low-income and African American individuals. Similar to the film “The Purge” people that lived day to day were no longer living, instead inadvertently singled out by their lack there of. Every country was attacked by COVID-19 also known as the Corona Virus and RECOVERED. Yet the United States of America, Home of The Brave and Land of The Free can’t seem to get it together….or do they want to.

Kylie Jenner has bigger lips, Cardi B and OFFSET are getting a divorce, Beyoncé just released a new hit, whatever happened to Orange Is The New Black and DID YALL SEE GEORGE FLOYD GET SUFFOCATED IN THE STREET!!!! I sure did! Along with the rest of the world, which caused an enormous uproar and hundreds of protest throughout the globe. Onlookers watched in horror behind their paper face mask at their laptops, desktops, cell phones, and television sets for 8 minutes and 46 seconds while four officers kneeled on an African American male by the name of George Floyd, while his hands were handcuffed behind his back and face down in the street. Floyd repeatedly begged the officers to lift from him due to not being able to breath. He was ignored even though he did not appear to resist nor try to unbalance the officers. George Floyd suffocated on the pavement leaving behind a daughter also watching.

The officers recorded committing this heinous crime were left unnamed for weeks as to protect them from riots, assault or death. When the names were released people of ALL races and walks of life came together as an unofficial jury and DEMANDED the officers be found GUILTY!!! Three of the four officers have since been released on bond and only facing charges of second degree murder and secret degree manslaughter. Their trial will take place some time next year but isn’t it convenient how they even have time to make bond?

Capital punishment is the consequence for a crime of this caliber! Not to mention these were “OFFICERS OF THE LAW”. With the sole purpose to protect and to serve, they killed an INNOCENT African American MAN in broad daylight in unison ON FILM. Much more does not need to be said in regards to this situation as it has spun a tremendous amount of support from ALL COMMUNITIES. Seemingly for the first time African Americans have a fighting chance at NOT returning to segregation and slavery.

During the COVID many things and people died but a “NEW RELIGION” was born! The religion of PRIDE, STRENGTH, RESILIENCE AND INEXORABLE HUSTLE! “Black Lives Matter” is the hallmark of 2020 and now NOT JUST Kaepernick is kneeling on the FLAG. Blacks have heard the cry of the blood of their ancestors from the plantations and cotton fields and decided THIS IS NOT THE GENERATION TO FXCK WITH! I’m here for it all….this new found religion of BOLDNESS and unwavering mindset to not just survive but to LIVE! And to do it MORE ABUNDANTLY!

What’s the Tea? ☕️

Grand Rising! Welcome to my blog I hope you enjoy the TRUTH. An acquired taste and hard to find now days. Nothing is unheard of but still we lie about our sexuality, finances, desires, pet-peeves, wants and intentions. Some dope black girl writes about it ALL…candidly and unashamed. Enjoy 💋