Strong Black Woman Vs Strong Black B*tch?✊🏾💯✅

It seems the more information I share on this topic the more my own race and gender turn against me for MY truth. A portion of them are still willing to understand my point of view and even SHARE SIMILAR feelings, yet are unsure of how to express themselves in a “politically correct” fashion. I am not that woman…I am the woman that says what I mean and means what I say, SO… as I write this blog, I want all of my “STRONG, BLACK, EDUCATED, INDEPENDANT, CLASSY AND SUPPORTIVE WOMAN to STAND UP and pat themselves on the back…and I want my STRONG, BLACK, EDUCATED, INDEPENDANT, RATCHETT AND IMMATURE HEFFAS to SIT DOWN and LISTEN (if you can and not already feeling attacked) lol.

DID YOU KNOW: Men really are not INTIMIDATED BY a woman’s DEGREE or POSITION? What intimidates them is how a woman carries herself!

***I will explain later in this passage, for the moment I want to continue to layer coats of TRUTH on the OFTEN misunderstood and misinterpreted actions of others. Often times this misunderstanding is on the part of the Strong Black B*tch (SBB). These women have it ALL wrong, which only further encourages them to continue to address situations in their lives with a level of harshness, severity and manipulation that eventually lands them ALONE!! (Which ALWAYS seems to be “the fault of OTHERS” NEVER THEMSELVES).

DID YOU KNOW: Being a STRONG BLACK B*TCH will get you a high position as well as possibly allow you to be in control of many situations however, your employees, co-workers and even loved ones may not RESPECT you?

DID YOU KNOW: Being a Strong Black Woman (SBW) does not mean you must take on the burden of every emotion, hurt, loss, defeat or issue for a loved one? You can say “I can’t do this right now” or “I am not emotionally available for this” and not be a Strong Black B*tch?

Last but not least… DID YOU KNOW: Strong Black B*tches are usually highly educated, qualified and skilled in a variety of talents yet never seem to be able to solidify a team to assist them in their endeavors? Causing their dreams to often times be HARDER to achieve due to lack of assistance directly related to their demeanor or attitude?

Now, my first “little known Black History” fact was:

“Men really are not INTIMIDATED BY YOUR POSITION? What intimidates them is how you CARRY YOURSELF?” Meaning HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR DEGREES!!!! YES while he may be extremely impressed and feel a bit challenged to go above and beyond with hopes of being an independent woman’s partner; fully aware that he will need to do more than pay for a dinner and have a nice car to gain her trust and confidence. Where it goes downhill is when he mistakes a Strong Black B*tch for a Strong Black WOMAN! He finds out within the first couple interactions which one she is and whether he is looking to settle down with her or screw her, merely for the notch in his belt and then get rid of her as fast as possible.

  1. A SBB does not offer to go dutch for a date…EVER, instead she feels entitled to the gesture and feels the man should be grateful for her company alone.
  2. A SBB is often bossy or even abrasive and aggressive with advice instead of offering sound/logical insight and standing firm on her feelings about the issue while still respecting the decision that is made by the other person for THEIR LIFE!
  3. SBB’s often bash others or make them feel inadequate in public situations or suggest they are jealous of her accomplishments.
  4. SBB’s are the ULTIMATE “I TOLD YA SO”, meaning if she did offer insight on a situation and you decided not to follow it, she is the LAST person you would admit this too. This severs trust as well as gratitude for her logic and rationale even if it is useful.
  5. Last but not least, a SBB CAN NOT GET ENOUGH of talking about herself and her accomplishments. MEN LOVE CONFIDENT WOMEN, however, this comes off as self absorbed leaving little room for anyone else to sit in the corner even to admire the accolades she is trying so hard to showcase.

My second DID YOU KNOW was: Being a STRONG BLACK B*TCH will get you a high position as well as possibly allow you to be in control of many situations however, your employees, co-workers and even loved ones may not RESPECT YOU?

The hardest part of being a leader in my opinion is the harsh truth that you can not please EVERYBODY! No matter how hard you try to do what is best for your team while also considering yourself and your own mental health, there will always be someone that does not AGREE or feels you are being selfish. However, the difference between a SBB and a SBW is:

  1. A SBB never considers the thoughts, feelings or responsibilities of others only her own and feels others are lazy or attempting to sabotage her in some way when they are not able to complete HER goals/timelines, or do not agree with her vision.
  2. A SBB often throws others under the bus for her own personal gain or recognition. While it is understood that “credit should be given where credit is due”, it is not always necessary to stand on top of the soap box and announce to EVERYONE what you did, how you did it, who was supposed to do it and HOW GREAT IT IS BECAUSE YOU DID IT!…..guess what….nobody cares and now that they can see you did it “so well” you will continue to do it..by YOURSELF! Since nobody can “do it better” than you…..right?!
  3. While SBW’s are able to solicit the help of many on her team and incorporate the idea’s of other’s to make a vision obtainable and realistic AKA giving others (even if just a mirage) a sense of importance and assurance that they are being heard and considered. A SBB will make demands as well as result in retaliation when not agreed with or an individual(s) speak out against their rude or insensitive nature.

DID YOU KNOW: Being a Strong Black Woman (SBW) does not mean you must take on the burden of every emotion, hurt, loss, defeat or issue for a loved one? You can say “I can’t do this right now” or “I am not emotionally available for this” and not be a Strong Black B*tch?

  1. More times than not, the responsibility of upholding the emotions and strength of a family or relationship (work or intimate) can fall on the shoulders of a SBW and it is assumed that because she is a SBW she never has times she just needs to focus on HER!!!
  2. As a SBW it is “OK NOT TO BE OK!” many say this however, do not offer the leverage to TRULY care for YOURSELF! It’s like saying “Get well SOON…..FR….Cause you got work to do…so hurry up” smh.
  3. Naomi Osaka was not the First to take a stand for mental health however, I am willing to put my new shoes on the line and argue that she is definitely a PIONEER for a topic that should never have been taboo in the first place! IF you are human you will have BAD DAYS! Days where you do not feel 100% or just need time to reflect on your next phases in life. Part of being a SBW is being able to recogize when you have reached that peak, so that you do not run the risk of becoming a SBB!

Lastly: DID YOU KNOW: Strong Black B*tches are usually highly educated, qualified and skilled in a variety of talents yet never seem to be able to solidify a team to assist them in their endeavors? Causing their dreams to often times be HARDER to achieve due to lack of assistance directly related to their demeanor or attitude?

  1. Surely we all have been victim to a SBB at one point or another either intimately or professionally. All they do is talk about how qualified they are, how many degrees they have, where they got them and what they got them in, their extensive training and skills. This will initially intrigue many out of sheer curiosity, however after NOT so long it gets VERY OLD! Often times it can also begin to turn others off that may have been in a position to help you, they will see you as self absorbed and cocky.
  2. If you refer back to my blog entitled “You Are NOT Beyonce” I state that there is a such thing as “playing the game”, in playing this game you must temporarily be or pretend to be someone you truly are not, long enough to obtain whatever accolade or personal gain you hope to acheive. SBB are not able to play this game. They feel it is unnecessary and a waste of time however, NOT to play the game is not an option when you are in need of other people or their services. You could be the most qualified in the room but if you are not able to apprach others with a sense of humility and grace you will also be the most qualified B*tch in the room that nobody wants to conversate with, just ABOUT!
  3. Being highly educated and marketable is a blessing, especially in the black community where it is arguably much harder to achieve the same levels of success as that of our Caucasian counterparts. Therefore, it is imperative that we not give anyone, ANY reason NOT to open the door for us to atleast stick a foot in. SBB’s do not realize the doors they close with their personalities and demeanors until it is too late. Often times causing them to lash out and suggest it is the fault of the “universe” or “people that simply do not want to see them win”….both ARE ACCURATE!!! When you feed sh*t into the atmosphere naturally sh*t will come back to you, and when you are not a team player or someone that can be worked with naturally others will NOT WANT TO SEE YOU SUCCEED. Because they feel the victory will only further BLOW YOUR HEAD UP!

I know this post may have came off a bit harsh and even abrasive for my SBB‘s but WHY NOT!!!! They come off that way to EVERYONE! Why not give them a dose of their own medicine as well as let it be known that IT’S NOT COOL! Stop blaming everyone for your downfalls as if you don’t know why people are not falling over themselves to assist you! The fact is you can be a SBW without being a SBB and sometimes certain situations will call for the SBB in a SBW to emerge…however, if she is doing it right those times will be seldom. My father use to tell me you can always find the idiot in a crowded room if you listen to who is talking the loudest and THE MOST!!!!!

Ladies be aware of yourselves and remember your place in the GAME! If you make the right moves you will never have to sacrifice YOURSELF AKA allow others to CHOOSE not to support your cause or development merely based on their IMPRESSION of you…..you are THE QUEEN in this GAME ♟. When it comes to a romantic relationship remember…the Queen may be the most powerful piece on the board but when your KING dies….it’s GAME OVER! Remembering your PLACE does not mean not being able to MAKE MOVES or that you have to succumb to any level of disrespect or neglect. SBB‘s….STOP BEING AFRAID that someone will take advantage of you! The fact of the matter is you are taking advantage of yourself and shorting YOURSELF…my mom use to say “It’s a lot easier to attract bees 🐝 with honey 🍯 than shxt 💩”.

As always thank you for reading and I hope to hear your insight on this topic! No comment is blocked, erased or reported on my site! I am GROWN! All I ask is that you remain RESPECTFUL, especially my SBB’s!!! SEE YA!

Published by Some Dope Black Girl Writes....

"Some dope black girl writes" is inspired by the everyday life of a melanated, educated and sophisticated young woman living in an era where she is too young to remember slavery, segregation or "White's Only" locations but now old enough to be terrified at what may come again. Are our people strong enough this time to LIVE not just survive?

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