Recently I wrote a blog entitled “Judgey Judy” and it explained how imperative it is to be careful the energy, vibes and overall aura’s you keep around you. How toxic environments and people can change you for the worst and continue to drain you of positive energy which is needed to live your own best life. I spoke on how it is naive to live your life based on stigmas however, NOT to judge a tree by the fruit it bares could result in even worst settings. It was not until I read a post from a fellow blogger, counselor and follower, entitled “ Toxic Relationship” by Laura Grigoruta that I realized EVERYONE IS TOXIC to SOMEONE, even YOU!
Some of the examples she offered as insight for characteristics to look for in individuals in our personal lives were:
- The toxic person is always talking about themselves and their latest drama
- The unhealthy person is always the victim of something/the ultimate pessimist
- Toxic people are manipulative and judgmental
- They are inconsistent, disrespectful and embarrassing at times
- They never apologize for their actions (it’s always someone else’s fault)
- An unhealthy person will make you feel like defending yourself
- They are exhausting to be around (when you leave them you are extremely mentally over it)
- Toxic people are not caring and selfish.
- They lack empathy.
(Grigoruta, Toxic Relationships, 2020, https://lauragrigoruta.com/2021/01/10/toxic-relationship/ , accessed: January 14,2021). As I read each bullet it ironically felt almost like a shot fired PERSONALLY! I noticed as I read some of the characteristics to look for that most I PERSONALLY IDENTIFIED WITH at some point in my life. Has it ever occurred to you that while you are pruning your life of everyone that contains toxic traits TO YOU, you also contain TOXIC TRAITS for SOMEONE ELSE? Not all toxins are meant to mix, some can become combustible, I would equate this to a domestic violence type situation. However, some play very well. Some can become medicines to heal others or even one another. Just because someone is “toxic” for you does not necessarily mean they would be toxic for someone else….lessons learned.